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You’ve heard it before. “Don’t work harder, work smarter.” But what does that really mean? And when you aren’t getting the results you expect, no one tells you how to “work smarter”. They usually tell you to “work harder”. Let’s take a candid look at what it takes to get great results in less time over the long haul. 

First, let me be clear about something: there will be times when you have to work more quickly than you like, stay later than you planned to, or come in earlier than you want to. But those times should be RARE. As in, if-you-don’t-do-it-someone-is-literally-going-to-DIE kind of rare. If these times are showing up in your life on more than the rare occasion, keep reading.

If you’re feeling overworked, frantic, and exhausted, and still not seeing the results you expect, here are Five Simple Steps you can take today toward getting better results that don’t include losing sleep, missing meals, and skipping family time.

1. State the Clear Intention

We’re really good at stating what we don’t want. Let’s say you work for the IRS answering tax payer questions. You can easily say things like: “I don’t want customer complaints going to my boss” or “I don’t want people yelling at me”.

But what would it look like if you stated clearly what you do want?

Specifically, what is it that you’re trying to do or create? Maybe the desired result is that every citizen who contacts your office for tax advice is left feeling respected and empowered to manage their tax situation.

2. Define the Evidence

How will you know when you’ve achieved your desired result? Perhaps the evidence is something as simple as every customer ends their phone call with, “Thank you so much, you’ve really helped me.”

Or maybe it’s a measurable number like if the number of tax returns that process cleanly the first time goes up by 20%. Either way, create a specific, concrete measurement that you cannot miss so you can acknowledge your achievement.

3. Recognize Your Choices

We often tell ourselves, “I had no choice. I had to do X. The regulation says XYZ…” So let me be clear, I’m not advocating breaking laws or violating regulations! But I am saying that often, you do have a choice and you may not even realize it. Does the project you’re working on really have to be finished at 5 pm, or can it go in at 10 am tomorrow morning?

Just because your boss said it had to be done at 5 o’clock, doesn’t mean that is necessarily true. He may have chosen a random deadline to give himself something to track, and if you requested more time, he would be open to it.

Even if the project really is due at 10 am, you still have a choice: you can choose how to get it done, i.e. get help, come in early tomorrow vs. stay late tonight, provide an interim solution, etc. 

4. Take the ONE Next Best Step

For complex tasks or large projects, it can be easy to get overwhelmed because you can’t see HOW you will complete it. When you have a Clear Intention (Step 1), you don’t have to see all of the steps from beginning to end. You only need to see, and take, the ONE best next step.

Make the best decision you can make and move forward. You’ll notice that in making that step forward, your options will change, you have additional information, and you’ll be ready to take the NEXT best next step.

(NOTE: If you are unable to see the one best next step, either your intention or your evidence is NOT clear; go back to Step 1).

5. Be Committed but Not Attached

The key to achieving results is to be committed to the Clear Intention but not attached to how you get there. When we get attached to a certain methodology, or the way we think things are “supposed” to happen, we actually make the task more difficult! Remaining committed to your desired result but unattached to the path you take to get there allows you to remain open to new opportunities and resources that were not previously available to you.

When you’re constantly in a state of frantic activity, skipping meals, workouts and otherwise neglecting your physical self, and/or cutting yourself off from the things that bring you joy, you are also cutting yourself off from the energy, creativity, and innovation required to accomplish the very goal for which you’re working so hard.

Mother Nature demonstrates it best: Everything has a season. There are times for exerting effort, and there are times for rest. There are times for creation, building and generation, and there are times for assessment, reflection, and waiting.

So tell me, are you ready to get rid of the stress, frustration, and overwhelm that is dragging you down so you have the energy to enjoy your family and friends this year?

Leave a comment on the blog – to tell me exactly how you’re dragging. I promise, I have something that will help!

In this season of thanksgiving, we’re bombarded with invitations to donate to this charity or that food bank based on the desperateness of some persistent need. It drives me absolutely crazy!

This is might sound rather cold to some of you, but here it is: I will not give to a “need.”

And here’s why: the need in this world is simply too vast. There will always be those who are sick, hungry, homeless, or destitute. When you give to a “need”, you’re giving out of a sense of obligation or guilt, putting your attention on the need, and actually creating more of it.

None of us want that!

Now before you think I am the epitome of Ebenezer Scrooge, let me say that I am a STRONG proponent of giving.

But I believe in giving generously to INSPIRATION, to any person, place, or institution that feeds me spiritually.

What do you want to see MORE of in the world? Give to that!

Leaning in to inspiration is what spreads greatness into the world. Have you ever thought about how you can spread greatness in your “world”

(Remember, greatness is the essence of being extraordinary! Greatness comes from deliberately choosing to recognize, magnify, and give your gifts at the highest level.)

So what inspires you? What makes you sit up and say, “Wow! Look at that!” with wide eyes and a child-like sense of pleasure? What fills you up to the point that you “leak happy” everywhere?

It is your own greatness that gives you the capacity to “heal” the sick, “feed” the poor, “house” the homeless, and “comfort” the destitute. WHY?Because you’re spreading greatness by giving to inspiration. Focusing your time, money, and attention on the good creates more of that good in the world. And that, in turn, inspires more greatness. It’s a magnificent upward spiral.

There’s no hard and fast rule around how or what to give except give to what inspires YOU. Examples might be an extra tip to the waitress who was really, really nice to you even though you were a little bit grumpy this afternoon. Or maybe it’s giving your time and energy to a non-profit organization whose mission speaks to your heart and lights you up inside. It can even be attending a charity gala because the people there remind you of who you are and why you continually pursue your greatness for the benefit of others.

The inspiration could be giving to a friend who did something really kind for you. Or accomplishing something particularly challenging in her life, or creating something special in the world, and you want to acknowledge her for it and honor the inspiration she visited back on you, just by being who she is.

The thing to remember is: Give generously to the inspiration. When you lean in to that thing that you want to see more of in the world, you create more greatness. That is Greatness In Government.

If you are so tired, overwhelmed, and stressed that you are hard-pressed to even see inspiration let alone lean into it, and you’ve decided you are ready to do something about that, applying for a complimentary Great Life Strategy Session is a great place to start.

During this 1-on-1 telephone conversation, we’ll dig deep to uncover the #1 thing standing between you and the great life you’re looking for, the life where you not only see inspiration everywhere but become the inspiration to those around you Are you ready?

Click here and apply for your complimentary Strategy Session.

If you’ve been on the Greatness In Government campus for a while, you may have heard me mention using your Internal Guidance System to keep yourself on track and you bring your greatness into your work and your life so you can make the difference you want to make in the world. 

The system is really quite simple, yet many of us don’t use it, or don’t use it well. Why? Because many of us grew up in a world where we were encouraged to ignore, drown out, or cover up the “alert tone” when it goes off.

Recently I found myself back in physical therapy for a shoulder problem that has been nagging me for (hanging head in contrition) more than TWO YEARS! (Yes, you read that right. I can’t believe I’ve tolerated this for so long!) Knowing that this is one form of my internal guidance system at work, I wondered if you could use a few reminders on how and WHY to use your own internal guidance system.

Tip One: NOTICE: Does something feel just a little off?

In the case of my shoulder, it was inexplicably popping and grinding for more than 6 months. The day I got stuck in my sports bra because I couldn’t lift my arm over my head… Well, I just couldn’t ignore the pain any longer!

The same thing can happen in other areas of our lives. You may begin to dread going to work, or snap at your kids more frequently, or realize that you aren’t getting the results you used to get from your team. These are all ALERT TONES from your navigation system. Pay attention to them!

Tip Two: CHECK YOUR ALIGNMENT

When the ALERT TONE goes off, it’s time to stop what you’re doing and check your alignment. Truly identify what is the source of the alert. So often, like I did with my shoulder, we fail to recognize or choose to ignore the warning signs. We figure the situation will eventually just work itself out.

As the alert tone continues to sound, and becomes progressively more annoying, some of us will try to push through it.

Others of us will do more of what we have always done in the past. And still others will try to avoid certain aspects of a situation like the task or the person you don’t like.

These are all various methods of ignoring the alert tones and failing to address the underlying problem.

When we choose to ignore the alert tones, the misalignment does not go away. Its impact just becomes more severe and the steps needed to correct the misalignment – like having a partnership conversation with your boss, seeking another position, or completing an inappropriate commitment – become progressively more difficult and painful.

Tip Three: SEEK ASSISTANCE FROM A PROFESSIONAL

Even once I understood what was wrong with my shoulder, it was still impossible for me to treat it myself. Only with the assistance of a trained physical therapist was it possible for me to achieve the deep stretching and muscular release required to free my shoulder.

The same is true of misalignments in other areas of life. If it were possible for you to correct your misalignment alone, you would have done that already! (None of us LIKE to stay in pain!)

And maybe for you, even figuring out what the misalignment IS can be a challenge. 

Regardless, the longer you continue doing things that aren’t aligned with your Pillars (those things that matter most to you), the louder the alert tone becomes, and the more difficult the misalignment is to fix.

As one client said to me last week, “Martha, I have a stack of books as high as my waist. Why can’t I figure this out?”

It’s the same reason why I can’t stretch my shoulder sufficiently without the physical therapist; we are all restricted by our previous experiences.

It takes someone else to stretch us past what we can do for ourselves in order to reach our full potential and allow our natural leadership abilities, our GREATNESS, to emerge.

And that’s what I can do for you! I can be your “physical therapy” for where your “shoulder” is hurting in life. To explore what in your life you’re tolerating, where you’re out of alignment with your Pillars, or just how you could get a good stretch, I invite you to apply for a complimentary Great Life Strategy Session. Just click this link and complete the application – it’s your first step to feeling better!. 

Have you ever noticed how the people you pass every day always seem to be locked in their own world? They’re kind of frazzled and fried? Generally pissed off at everything and anything?

Every day you pass all kinds of people doing their normal things: walking their dogs or walking their kids, jogging, on their way to work, texting, serving you in a shop, trimming the trees along the sidewalk… Just doing whatever they’re doing.

These are often the “unseen” people in your life that are working in the background: the shuttle bus driver, the barista making your coffee, the security guard who waves you into your organization’s parking lot, and everyone else you come in contact with briefly throughout your day.

 

There’s a great way you can “play” with these people — Smile Sniping. It’s where you look a frazzled, disconnected person straight in the eye and connect with them, powerfully and easily.

I’ve been a Smile Sniper for a while now and the reaction I get from the other person is amazing. I get to watch another human completely transform in a split second before my very eyes. They just absolutely light up! It’s as if their feet touch the ground again, and they come alive. They seem almost surprised that somebody “saw” them.

What is Smile Sniping? It’s when you look an unsuspecting, often frazzled, human being straight in the eye and SMILE directly into them.

When I say “smile INTO them” I don’t mean smile at them, throwing a smile in their general direction. Or give a fake-y smile like the type you used to paste on in school pictures. That smile is just your lips – and pretty much starts at your chin. When you smile AT someone, you’re smiling at their ear or their buttons or at their nose.

But the smile you give in a Smile Snipe… That is a smile starts from your belly button – all the way down deep in your gut – and it moves directly through your eyes into the eyes of the person you’re sniping and creates a moment of surprise connection.

The message, purpose, energy behind THAT smile is:

“Hello Fellow Human Being! I’m honored to share the planet with you.”

(Don’t worry, it’s not creepy!)

This is another person, soul, human being who is walking the planet at the same time you are. And we each have our own junk but in that split second, we connect and let that smile come from you – starting in your belly button – connect with them on a soul-to-soul level.

And Smile Sniping one of the “unseen” or “unappreciated” people in your life is a great way to have a little fun, spread a little mischief, and change somebody’s day! Including yours!

How Smile Sniping works:

1. Catch people just doing their normal thing. You don’t interrupt them, don’t speak to them to get their attention.

2. Look for their eyes. Wait patiently, quietly, trying to look the other person in the eye. They’ll feel it and they will in fact look at you. When their eyes meet yours, look them IN the eyes. As you wait, mentally separate yourself from all the hubbub of life and focus your attention on the thought, “Hi, Human. I honor you.”

THEN, .here it comes…

3. Smile into them with a smile that starts down deep in your gut. Connect to the human BEING behind all the busy and the work and the labor. If you’re close enough to exchange words: good morning, hello, etc. that’s always nice. Or wave (if in a car) 

This type of smile is contagious and spreads easily. When it spreads, you get that additional energy and juice flowing back to you and you feel better for it. There is a certain “selfish element” to Smile Sniping! But if I’m feeling down or grumpy or off, a day when everything isn’t sunshine and roses,

THAT’S the day I smile snipe somebody. I instantly start to feel better.

When my partner’s mother was in the late stages of Alzheimer’s, the last time we went to visit her, she didn’t recognize him. Even though we knew this moment was coming, it still deeply bothered him that his own mother didn’t recognize him.

Toward the end of our visit, he crouched down and made eye contact with her; connecting with her as a human being – eye-to-eye, truly looking into her soul. In that moment, when he smiled at her and called her Mom, in that split second you could see the flash of knowing him… of connection. It was the last bridge to her human soul. 

Since then, I’ve started to use this type of conscious smiling in my professional life. For example, are you in a challenging meeting? Smile snipe the participants. Are you annoyed with your boss? Smile snipe her. Is there friction between you and a co-worker? Smile snipe him on the way to the coffee pot.

So I challenge you to have some mischief in your life: become part of the Smile Sniper Brigade and share the soul-to-soul connection that smiling INTO (not at) someone can bring.

Tell me what happened next. Trust me. You will be surprised at the results!

Tell me what you’ve been planning for…

Do you plan for your next job or promotion? How you’ll use your vacation days? Where you’ll go to dinner? The route you’ll use to beat the traffic home? 

We make plans all day long – they’re part of who we are. But now it’s time for you and I to have a difficult conversation. What is your “money plan”? Most people don’t even have one. Others have a plan that sounds something like: “Make as much as possible, and spend as little as possible.”

How’s that working for you? Are you loving your life?

While you don’t want to be a complete impulse buyer, spending everything that comes through your hands, it also doesn’t serve your greatness to deliberately deprive yourself now with the promise that “someday” I’ll allow myself to have/enjoy/experience X.

Bad news, my friend. Someday never comes!

NOTE: I’m NOT a financial planner and I’m not giving financial advice. I am highlighting that the financial aspect of your life has as significant an impact on your experience of life as your physical, mental, and emotional aspects. Any fear, scarcity, deprivation, or victimhood you experience in your financial life will bleed over into the “rest” of your life. This means that if your financial house isn’t in order, you won’t be able to give your gifts, develop yourself and your people, or be the best government employee you can.

If you’re caught up in being a victim to your money (or lack thereof) then you’ll also be a victim of your boss’ bad mood, your spouse’s nagging, your bum knee… and on and on it’ll go!

Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about. The other day, I was sharing with a friend that my current job has me putting an average of 300 miles a week on my car.

She said, “Wow. I hope you’re driving a junker. I wouldn’t want to put all those miles on my good car.”

How bizarre. I’m thinking to myself, “So what would I be saving the good car for? I’ll spend 25 or more hours a week being uncomfortable in exchange for what exactly?”

Personally I think that if I’m spending that many hours a day in my car, it better be something that feels great to me and that I want to drive. Otherwise what’s the point of having a nice car? Stand and stare at it in the driveway!?

It’s not about the luxury of the car (and just for the record, I drive a Hyundai) but rather that I’m enjoying the experience of my life (and car) RIGHT NOW – and also maintaining a structure that provides for future satisfaction and security.

I don’t feel like I’m coming from a place of scarcity or victimhood when I get behind the wheel of the car. I feel like I’m honoring my gifts – and the gifts of those I’m here to serve. I’m coming from a place of strength, security, abundance, and… yes, I’m really going to say this… love. That car represents a larger picture for my finances – and my future.

So I encourage you to create your own financial plan whether you do it yourself or sit down with a financial planner. Design a structure that allows you the grace to give generously, the security to react calmly, the peace to live comfortably, and the permission to play joyfully.

Let me hear from you! What is your biggest mindset challenge when it comes to money? Add your comment below.

Have you ever committed yourself to something that you probably shouldn’t have?

It could be a simple thing like agreeing to bake cookies for the office party when you hate baking.  Now you’re stuck in the kitchen (which you hate), missing out on family time (or Netflix), and up past your bedtime because you put it off as long as possible (not to mention the extra trip to the grocery store).

Before too long, you find yourself resentful of the cookies, the office, the party and anybody else associated with making this activity happen. The worst part is, you know that you could have easily avoided this situation if you had simply said, “I would rather bring the beverages.”

Welcome to the uncomfortable feeling of making an inappropriate commitment! It’s not a fun place to be. 

Now, when I say “inappropriate commitment” I don’t mean something illegal or immoral or dangerous, I mean it’s inappropriate because you’ve committed yourself to something that is not in alignment with the things that matter most to you.

Learning to recognize and curtail inappropriate commitments becomes crucial in government service. A bad night of baking cookies may not be such a big deal, but accepting a two-year position overseas that is not an ideal fit when your parents are ailing, for example, can become a very big deal very quickly.  In this case learning how to say “No” to an inappropriate commitment is vital.

When we concede our needs and take on commitments that are not in alignment with our priorities, we end up feeling resentful and burned out. Obviously that’s not the way to bring your best self to work (or home), and it’s not the way to bring your greatest gifts into the world.

When you find that you are in danger of making an inappropriate commitment, here are five things you can do. 

1. Avoid Making Inappropriate Commitments in the First Place

Get clear on what matters most to you and deliberately choose to create your life so you can support the things that are most important. Practice saying “no” lovingly.  Remember, the word “no” delivered lovingly is a complete sentence.  Having said that, even with our best efforts, sometimes we have previous commitments that we made before we were clear that they were inappropriate.  In that case…

2. Ask to Renegotiate

When you are honoring the greatness in yourself, you can recognize when you have made an inappropriate commitment and ask to renegotiate it. It may be something as simple as approaching a supervisor and saying, “I recognize that things have shifted and this job is no longer an ideal fit for me. I will absolutely continue to fulfill my commitments as best as I can, and will you support me as we look for a position where I am better suited?”

I will tell you, the majority of supervisors are over the moon excited when their employees come to them with a conversation like this. Let’s face it: if you’re in a job that’s not a great fit for you, they already know it!

3. Continue to Fulfill Your Commitment as Best You Can

If you ask to renegotiate the commitment and the answer is “No” then you continue to fulfill that responsibility as best you can.

This one is a little bit challenging because it means that you have to be gentle with yourself. No berating yourself for making a commitment that isn’t in line with your priorities, and no beating up the office or the supervisor or the colleagues. You were the one that made the commitment, so no whining or complaining! Continue to do your best work and seek opportunities to renegotiate.

4. Get Creative

Let’s say you can’t renegotiate and trying to fulfill that inappropriate commitment as you look for opportunities to renegotiate is dragging you down.  Now what?  Time to get creative. Find a way to fulfill the commitment in a way that doesn’t drive you crazy. Focus on finding the part of the commitment that IS appropriate, like “Even though I hate baking, I LOVE helping people so I’m going to focus on how fulfilling this commitment helps the party organizer…

As you’re meeting this commitment, look for ways that you can use your gifts – even if it isn’t a direct fit. In the example with the cookies, perhaps you agreed to bring dessert and you decided it would be cookies. But when you step back and take a look, perhaps you can bring ice cream sandwiches instead. Dessert is covered and you’re not stuck in the kitchen!

5. Circle Back to Step One

Avoid making inappropriate commitments in the first place. Work to get even clearer on what matters to you. Specifically define your personal Evidence of Success and make decisions that will lead you closer to that evidence. (Not sure what Evidence of Success is? Check out this article I wrote for Fedsmith.) Over time, you’ll either fulfill or renegotiate the previous inappropriate commitments replacing them with ideal commitments that you can’t wait to take on.

The reason we govies get trapped into inappropriate commitments in the first place is that we’re are SO honor-bound to our commitments that we’ll kill ourselves fulfilling the inappropriate ones. So focus on the opportunity every commitment brings, even if it’s nothing more than another instance where you kept your word. Use your gifts to fulfill all your promises – and look for ways you can turn it into a winning situation for yourself.

BUT, in the future, guard your commitments carefully! Your commitments become your life. Choose them wisely.

Comment below to tell me about an inappropriate commitment you’ve made in your job or life and how you’ve renegotiated it. (Or gotten creative so a “lose” became a “win!”)

When is the last time you surrendered?

And I don’t mean given up or anything that’s 50 Shades of Grey! I mean, when is the last time you said, “Okay, I surrender, I’m going to go with the flow?”

Because when you’re constantly fighting, banging your head against a wall, walking through mud and getting nowhere – you’re setting yourself up for exhaustion.

Have you been working really hard but making no progress?

Have you been doing what you’ve always done but not getting the same results?

Have things just been too darn difficult lately?

Maybe it’s time to STOP fighting. Maybe it’s time to surrender…

For a lot of people, the concept is so completely foreign that they don’t even understand it. They hear it and think, “Well, this must mean that I just give up on my ideals, go with the flow, and follow the pack.”

And that’s not what I mean at all!

Let me explain.

Imagine water as it flows down a riverbed. On the edges of the river, water gets pushed into little coves or oxbows. (This happens even in the smallest rivers or streams!)

As the water continues to push in there, it has nowhere to go… so it pushes and pushes and swirls and swirls, but can’t get out of the cove.

This is where all the dead leaves and branches get stuck. The water turns dark and feels thick and sludgy. If you’ve ever encountered a river cove like this, you know it’s pretty nasty and slimy and smelly.

That’s because things aren’t flowing easily. This water has strayed ever so slightly off the main channel of the river and gotten backed up in “the details” along the shore.

Now think of the water at the center of the river, in the main channel. It’s moving fast and fluid. Sure, there are rocks and sticks out there, too, but the water in the middle rolls right over them and continues on its way.

When you’re banging your head against the wall and everything feels more difficult than it should, it’s kind of like the water that got stuck in the stagnant pool on the side of the river. You have strayed ever so slightly off the course of your intended path and gotten bogged down in the details around the edges.

Now here’s a thing about rivers: while the sticks and leaves and muck might stay in that stagnant area for a while, the water itself eventually swirls free. It’s pulled by the force of the river – and surrenders to the natural down-hill pull.

So surrendering means you’re allowing yourself to be pulled out of the nasty slime and muck!

It’s the idea of getting out of that stagnant pool and back into the productive flow in the middle. It means allowing yourself to be pulled by the river’s current toward your intended destination.

Here’s the 3-step process to get back in the flow: 

Stop Pushing. It’s pretty simple, just stop doing what you’re doing. This doesn’t mean throwing up your hands, quitting, and becoming a hobo! It is just stopping what you’re doing (which isn’t working anyway!) long enough to get out of the muck. The whole process of getting out of the stagnant water can happen in only 3-5 minutes. (We’re not talking about a big fat hairy deal here!).

Breathe. Take a big deep breath. Get quiet. This might mean closing your door or going into another room, but let yourself get away from everybody else for just a moment and take a few deep breaths.

Ask. Ask yourself: “What is it I really want? What is the ultimate outcome I am truly seeking in this situation? What would it mean for things to be easy?” Ask yourself, “What kind of person would I have to become in order for this to flow easily?” As you ask yourself these questions, don’t try to answer them. Yes, you read that correctly. Don’t try to answer the questions. Simply sit in the question… and wait. Something will bubble up for you, and when it does, simply follow it… even if it initially seems unrelated. It will lead you to your best next step and bring you back to the middle of the river.

I know that some of you are thinking “This is nuts! Clearly what I really need is a better plan.” Trust me, if you could THINK of a better plan, you would have done that already.

If you’re willing to sit in the question without searching for an answer, and surrender yourself to the flow of the river, your next best step will show up.

Let me hear from you! Leave a comment below and tell me what comes up for you as you sit in the question.

 

Well, gang, we’re nearly 60 days into 2015. How’s it going so far? Have you been working toward the goals you set for yourself?

If you’re like a lot of people, myself included sometimes, your progress gets stymied because you get stuck making a decision. There’s a whole mindset (or mind-dance) that you go through.

• Is this the right decision?
• What if it’s the wrong decision?
• What am I really trying to decide?
• What if it works out?
• What if it doesn’t work out?

And on and on and on you go until you are completely stuck. You can’t move forward without the decision, and you just can’t seem to actually MAKE a decision.

(Insert wringing hands and shrugging shoulders.)“But if I make the wrong decision, I can’t move forward, right?”

See, here’s the secret:

Until you make a decision…ANY decision…you CANNOT move forward.

You see, it’s not the substance of the decision that determines the whether or not you move forward – it’s the act of making the decision.

In the words of Roosevelt:

“The best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing.” The “nothing” he is referring to is getting stuck inside the decision.

Think of kids at a high school dance:

A guy asks a girl to dance (ok, calm down, don’t get caught up in who asked whom), she says yes, or she says no. If she says, “yes,” they dance. If she says, “no,” he moves on. She makes a clear decision – then both parties move forward. But what happens if she says, “Maybe”? Both the guy and the girl stand there, looking at each other, feeling weird and stuck. No one moves forward.

Teach yourself to recognize your decision points. They aren’t just the big things like ‘do I move or not?’ or ‘do I marry him or not?’ or ‘do I take this job or not?’ (Although those are decision points!)

In fact, the biggest transformations happen in what appear to be the smallest decisions:

• Do I eat a donut or free-range egg omelet for breakfast?
• Do I speak my truth lovingly or stuff it down so it gives me heartburn?
• Do I snap at my boss’s inopportune statement or assume noble intent?

As you start recognizing the decision points and consciously make a decision, the act of deciding will get easier! Decision making is like exercising a muscle – the more you do it, the better you get at it.

Will you always make the ‘right’ decision? Of course not! And what was the SECOND BEST thing you could do? Just make a decision and move on toward your goal.

Where are you stuck? Where do you need to make a decision and move on? Leave a comment below and let me know!