Mindset/Inspiration

Are you sure that was appropriate?

Have you ever committed yourself to something that you probably shouldn’t have?

It could be a simple thing like. . . agreeing to bake cookies for the office party when you hate baking. Now you’re stuck in the kitchen (which you hate), missing out on family time, and up past your bedtime because you put it off as long as possible (not to mention the extra trip to the grocery store).

Before too long, you find yourself resentful of the cookies, the office, the party and anybody else associated with making this activity happen. The worst part is, you know that you could have easily avoided this situation if you had simply said, “I would rather bring the beverages.”

You see, you made an inappropriate commitment. When I say “inappropriate commitment,” I mean committing yourself to something that is not in alignment with the things that matter most to you.

Learning to recognize and curtail inappropriate commitments becomes crucial in government service. A bad night of baking cookies may not be such a big deal, but accepting a two-year position overseas that is not an ideal fit when your parents are ailing, for example, can become a very big deal very quickly. In this case learning how to say “No” to an inappropriate commitment is vital.

When we concede our needs and take on commitments that are not in alignment with our priorities, we end up feeling resentful and burned out. Obviously that’s not the way to bring your best self to work (or home), and it’s not the way to bring your greatest gifts into the world.

When you find that you are in danger of making an inappropriate commitment, here are Four things you can do. . .

1. Avoid Making Inappropriate Commitments in the First Place

Get clear on what matters most to you and deliberately choose to create your life so you can support the things that are most important. Practice saying “No” lovingly. Remember, the word “No” delivered lovingly is a complete sentence. Having said that, even with our best efforts, sometimes we have previous commitments that we made before we were clear that they were inappropriate. In that case…

2. Ask to Renegotiate

A true leader will recognize when he has made an inappropriate commitment and ask to renegotiate it. It may be something as simple as approaching a supervisor and saying, “I recognize that things have shifted and this job is no longer an ideal fit for me. I will absolutely continue to fulfill my commitments as best as I can, and will you support me as we look for a position where I am better suited?”

I will tell you, the majority of supervisors are over the moon excited when their employees come to them with a conversation like this. Let’s face it: if you’re in a job that’s not a great fit for you, you’re not fooling anybody!

3. Continue to Fulfill Your Commitment as Best You Can

If you ask to renegotiate the commitment and the answer is “No,” then you continue to fulfill that responsibility as best you can.

This one is a little bit challenging because it means that you have to be gentle with yourself. No berating yourself for making a commitment that isn’t in line with your priorities, and no beating up the office or the supervisor or the colleagues. You were the one that made the commitment, so no whining or complaining! Continue to do your best work and seek opportunities to renegotiate.

4. Circle Back to Step One

Avoid making inappropriate commitments in the first place. Work to get even more clear on what matters to you. Specifically define your personal evidence of success and make decisions that will lead you closer to that evidence. Over time you will either complete or renegotiate the previous inappropriate commitments replacing them with ideal commitments that you can’t wait to fulfill.

Do you know someone who needs to read this? Please share it with them.

Are you tired yet?

By Martha Wilson

Are you banging your head against a wall…AGAIN? Have you been working really hard and making no progress, or doing what you’ve always done but not getting the same results, or have things just been too darn difficult lately? It’s time to stop.

I recently wrote an article called The One Leadership Tool Most Leaders Are Too Scared to Use where I talked about what it means to stop pushing and allow yourself to be pulled.

For a lot of people, the concept is so completely foreign that they don’t even understand it. They hear it and think, “Well, this must mean that I just give up on my ideals, go with the flow, and follow the pack.” We all know that’s not leadership.

Let me explain. . .

Imagine water as it flows down a riverbed. On the edges of the river, water gets pushed into little coves or bays. As the water continues to push in there, it has nowhere to go, so it pushes and pushes and swirls and swirls, but can’t get out of the cove.

This is where all the dead leaves and branches get stuck and these little pools of water get nasty and slimy because things aren’t flowing easily. This water has strayed ever so slightly off the main course of the river and gotten backed up in “the details” along the shore.

Now think of the water at the center of the river. It’s moving fast and fluid. Sure, there are rocks and sticks out there, too, but the water in the middle rolls right over them and continues on its way toward the intended destination.

When you’re banging your head against the wall and everything feels more difficult than it should, it’s kind of like the water that got stuck in the stagnant pool on the side of the river. You have strayed ever so slightly off the course of your intended path and gotten bogged down in the details around the edges.

Allowing yourself to be pulled is the idea of getting out of that stagnant pool and back into the productive flow in the middle. It means allowing yourself to be pulled by the river’s current toward your intended destination.

Here’s the 3-step process to get back in the flow:

~Stop Pushing~ It’s pretty simple, just stop doing what you’re doing. Not forever, not giving up, but just long enough to get out of the muck. The whole process of getting out of the stagnant water can happen in only 3-5 minutes (we’re not talking about a big fat hairy deal here!).

~Breathe~ Take a big deep breath. Get quiet. This might mean closing your door or going into another room, but let yourself get away from everybody else for just a moment and take a few deep breaths.

~Ask~ Ask yourself: what is it I really want? What is the ultimate outcome I am truly seeking in this situation? What would it mean for things to be easy? Ask yourself, “What kind of person would I have to become in order for this to flow easily?” As you ask yourself these questions, don’t try to answer them. Yes, you read that correctly. Don’t try to answer the questions. Simply sit in the question…and wait. Something will bubble up for you, and when it does, simply follow it…even if it initially seems unrelated. It will lead you to your best next step and bring you back to the middle of the river.

I know that some of you are thinking “This is nuts! Clearly what I really need is a better plan.” Trust me, if you could THINK of a better plan, you would have done that already. If you’re willing to sit in the question without searching for an answer, your next best step will show up. Something will happen when you are willing to sit quietly in the question, and the only way I can prove it to you is to ask you to try it.

Ignoring health (Taking Care of the Hardware)

By Martha Wilson

Here’s your Mindset Mistake for May. If you would rather read this tip than watch the video, just scroll to the bottom of the page.

Hi, this is Martha Austin your Leadership Architect with another Mindset Mistake that will derail your leadership.

This is a hot button for me because I see so many people neglect this critical aspect of leadership. They think that “Diet, exercise, water and sleep are just things. I don’t care what I look like so it doesn’t matter and this has no bearing on my leadership abilities.”

These are the same people that I have seen get carted out of their office after having a heart attack in the middle of the work day. They are the ones that lose key assignments because they can’t get a medical clearance, or having their entire office staff walk out because they are so irritable or unfocused that no one can work with them.

The idea of taking care of your physical body, is NOT about being young, or beautiful, or slim, it’s not about what you look like. It’s not even about being capable of running a marathon. But it IS about taking care of the hardware you were issued (your physical body) so you can maintain your leadership effectiveness across the board.

Each of you were given something that you were put on this earth to accomplish. Some GREAT WORK that your unique collection of Gifts was specifically designed to do. Your physical body is part of that collection of Gifts. It is the instrument you will use to create your great work. Just like a soldier would never enter the battlefield without cleaning his weapon, or the concert violinist would never walk on a stage without tuning her violin; a leader would never begin her great work without a system for caring for the hardware that she’s going to use to do that work.

What that specific system is can vary from person to person. Each of us is as different on the inside as we are on the outside and I strongly encourage you to work with someone to find out what are the specific keys for you. That said, there are 4 Key Areas that are consistent for everyone and they’ll give you a really good place to start:

1) Nutrition: A healthy natural diet. Hint: If you can’t spell it or pronounce it, you probably don’t need to eat it. So look for natural foods.

2) Physical movement: Whether it is in the gym, walking the dog, doing yoga, or working in the yard. Move your body physically every day.

3) Water: Hydrate regularly with plain water. Not soda, not coffee, not juice, not tea…water. Aim for a minimum of 2 liters a day. More if you are in a very dry climate or sweating profusely.

4) Sleep: Research shows that the majority of adults do not get adequate sleep (7-9 hours/night).

Just like your office computers get critical upgrades and security patches at night, your body does the same thing as you sleep. Don’t cut that short.

Taking care of the hardware (your physical body) is a foundational aspect of leadership. How much attention are you giving it?

The Power of Acting As-if

By Martha Wilson

This month’s Mindset Mistake video was on the topic of Qualified Creation, operating from a Have-Do-Be mentality. (If you missed the video, you can catch it HERE) In short, Qualified Creation is a mode of thinking that goes, “When I HAVE enough [X], then I’ll DO [Y], and I’ll BE [Z].”

Here’s the bad news: this thought process is a recipe for failure because in your subconscious mind you will never be sufficiently qualified to be whatever that goal is. Your brain will always think, “I don’t have this, therefore I can’t do that, so I can’t be the thing I want to be.” (Don’t shoot the messenger. I know this is true for you because if it weren’t, you would have achieved your goal already.)

So after that rather rude kick in the teeth, let me offer you a simple tweak to turn it all around. When you “be” the person you’ve dreamed of being, you’ll do the things you need to do, and have what you need to have to do it. Are you wondering how you can “be” something you are not? Simple, act “As-If”. Yep, fake it.

Just to put your mind at ease, let’s first talk about what acting “As-If” does NOT mean. It does not mean things like spending money you don’t have, being arrogant or cocky, or acting like you’re better than everyone else. It also does not mean taking stupid risks.

Example. If you want to be wealthy, acting “As-If” does not mean buying an expensive car when your monthly income barely covers your rent and food.

What I do mean is seeing yourself as that higher version of you and behaving as though you are already that person. It works like this: you see the world not as IT is but as YOU are. So choose to see the world in a way that supports what you want to become. Let’s look at some specific examples:

1. Create the Boss You Want

Not too long ago I published an article on FedSmith.com called ‘Is Your Boss a Jerk?…Try This‘ and it caused quite a kerfuffle.

The whole point of the article was that no one gets up in the morning deliberately intending to be a jerk and that usually our perception that the boss is a “jerk” is our reacting to them “as-if” they were a jerk based on some previous real or imaginary interaction that didn’t match our ideal standard. We impose “jerkdom” on them and then successfully bring it out of them.

As you can imagine, this position stirred up a lot of conversation. But here’s the thing…if you want to become a person who has a boss that is generous, open-minded, supportive and encouraging, you must act “As-If” you already are that. (Did you notice that the boss is NOT the one who had to change first?)

For example, when you go to your supervisor to ask for something, you approach them as if they are already a supportive, open-minded, encouraging person. Yes, it can be a challenge at times, and when you truly act as though you already have the boss you want, you will begin to extract those qualities from them.

2. Step Into Your Promotion

In this tight budget environment, there are many highly qualified people who deserve to be promoted and simply aren’t. Experts say that we can expect this trend to continue for at least the next 5 years. While this news can sound really frustrating, don’t let it stop you from pursuing your own personal advancement.

Instead, act “As If” you’ve already been advanced. Approach your current position as if you were already a more senior officer. If you had already been promoted, how would you behave differently? When the time comes to bid for the next job, bid as if you have already been promoted. Interestingly, as you begin to behave as the senior officer you want to become, others will begin to see you that way as well.

3. When Acting “As-If” Seems Impossible, Clean Up to Move Forward

When acting “As-If” seems like more than you can manage, here’s a tip to get you moving again. The things that are causing you the greatest stress and frustration are often a reflection of something you need to clean up within yourself. For example, if you’ve placed multiple phone calls to a colleague and haven’t heard back, look around. Where do you need to give someone an answer? If someone owes you a decision, where are you avoiding a decision that you owe to someone? If someone is complaining about the service from your office, where are you complaining to someone else?

As odd as it may seem, there’s an interesting karmic phenomena that happens when you clean up your own space. The obstacles that seemed to be blocking you will almost magically remove themselves. Suddenly, you are no longer acting “As-If.” You actually are. The only way I can prove this to you is to ask you to try it.

Spend a few minutes today to return messages that you have put off, make decisions you’ve been waffling on, and close any other open loops you have out there. Then come back here and tell us what happened. I can’t wait to hear from you!

For those of you who are ready to act “As-If” and would like some support moving forward, set up a free strategy session with me HERE

Qualified Creation

By Martha Wilson

Here’s your Mindset Mistake for April. If you would rather read this tip than watch the video, just scroll to the bottom of the page.

This is Martha Austin your Leadership Architect with another Mindset Mistake that will derail your leadership.

This Mindset Mistake is so subtle that until you begin to deliberately look for it, you’re probably not going to see it. It is what I call “Qualified Creation.” Meaning when I am sufficiently qualified to achieve whatever goal I’ve set, then I will. Let me explain. . .

The Qualified Creation mindset shows up as a Have-Do-Be Mindset. In real life it sounds something like, “When I HAVE more time, I will DO more exercise and then I will BE healthy.” “When I am sufficiently qualified by HAVING more time and DOING more exercise, then I will achieve BEING healthy.” . . . Have-Do-Be

Listen to some others and see if you can hear the Qualified Creation Mindset Mistake at work:

“When I HAVE more money, I will INVEST in myself (the DO) and then I will BE successful.”

“When I HAVE the promotion, I will TAKE ON the new project, and then I will BE a Senior Officer.”

Now here’s the secret . . . it doesn’t work that way! When you operate from a mindset of Qualified Creation, on a subconscious level YOU WILL NEVER BE SUFFICIENTLY QUALIFIED. I’m not talking about whether or not you actually ever have more time, more money, the promotion. . . I’m talking about the subconscious mindset that says BECAUSE you don’t have those things right now the other things are out of reach.

Here’s the good news. . . this is really easy to fix. Simply turn the mindset around. All of a sudden Qualified Creation becomes Actual Manifestation. Instead of Have-Do-Be, operate from Be-Do-Have.

It looks like this . . .

“I AM a healthy person, so I DO exercise regularly, and I HAVE more time.” (because I feel good and accomplish more with less effort.)

“I AM successful, so I DO invest in myself, and I HAVE more money.” (because of the things that I learned in investing in myself.)

Remember, Manifestation is BE-DO-HAVE. BE comes first. Try it yourself and see what happens.

To get more Mindset Mistakes and the Tools to fix them straight to your inbox, go to www.freegiftfrommartha.com

Choices = Results

By Martha Wilson

Today’s topic is not going to sit well with some of you, and I would be doing you a disservice if I didn’t share it anyway. It is this: the little individual choices that you make over time equal your results AND if you don’t like your results, make different choices.

I know…Ouch! Hang with me here.

We tend to focus our attention on the big choices, the big results…like do I take this job, buy that car, or move to that city. And yet, the things that have the greatest impact for us tend to be the little choices that we make every day…like how do I respond when my colleague snaps at me, or what do I have for lunch. Those choices determine whether you become the victim or the creator of your life.

Some of you may know that my current assignment in Miami ends this summer. Once my assignment is up, the government will place me somewhere else in the world, despite the fact that I previously felt certain I wanted to stay in Miami.

Now, I could have told myself, “I have no choice. The government will put me wherever they put me and I have to go or else I’ll be fired.”

However, I decided to claim the power of choice and apply for a position here in Miami. When I went in for the interview, they suggested a position just like the one in Miami only in Los Angeles. In that moment, I had a choice to make: Victim or Creator. I decided “Creator.”

Let me show you how it works.

1. You Always Have A Choice. . .

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People like us who work in bureaucratic organizations often have a voice in our head that says, “I had no choice, I had to do XYZ, there was no other option.” Sometimes we even say it out loud. (Note: When you say it out loud, not only do you confirm “victimhood” to yourself, you let everybody else see you as a victim too. Who wants that?!)

You always have a choice. You might not like the options from which you are choosing, but you always have a choice.

The thing is, when you recognize that you have a choice, even if you don’t like the options, you give up the role of victim and deliberately choose the role of being the creator of your life.

2. There Are Things You Can’t Change

I was talking to a friend at work and she commented that sometimes there are things you just can’t change.

Yep. She is absolutely correct. You cannot make it stop raining. You can choose, however, to play in the rain, carry an umbrella, or stay inside. You may not be able to change the policies of your current organization (yet). You can choose to use the policies to your advantage, accept the policies for now because you have a higher goal, or choose a different organization.

You still have the power of choice, and the choice is still yours.

3. It’s more than semantics. . .

Some of you are thinking, “this is just semantics,” and you are partly right. I do want to change how you talk about the situation. But there is a more important reason for you to claim the power of choice. When you’re faced with a situation that offers what seems to be a choice of “do it or else,” remember that the “or else” is usually just what we tend to see first.

In my case, for example, I could have said, “My choices are move to LA and remain employed OR don’t move to LA and get fired. (It wasn’t really that drastic but you get the point.) I don’t really care for either of those options.”

When you recognize that you have two (or more) options you’re not interested in, your brain will immediately begin looking for alternatives and asking questions. Often one little tweak can be a game changer and open opportunities…even miracles… you didn’t initially see.

Back to my example, I asked myself “What is it about moving to Los Angeles that I don’t like?” I didn’t want to leave Miami because I thought it would mean leaving my life partner. But once the potential for Los Angeles came up, he and I were able to figure out a way for both of us to do our work and still be together. All of the sudden, it wasn’t such a big deal, and we have a big adventure on the horizon. Now I’m back in control of my life because I “chose” Los Angeles instead of “being sent.”

You can claim the power of choice to create the career, and life, you want too. Where in your life are you being a victim by saying that you have no choice? What choices do you really have? Add your comments below.

If you realize that you are tired of being a victim and need some help to claim the power of choice for yourself, follow this LINK to set up a FREE Leadership Design Consultation and get ready to start creating the career, and life, you dream of.

Analysis Paralysis

By Martha Wilson

Here’s your Mindset Mistake for March. If you would rather read this tip than watch the video, just scroll to the bottom of the page.

This is Martha Austin your Leadership Architect with another Mindset Mistake that will derail your leadership.

Today’s mindset mistake is the old familiar “Analysis Paralysis.” You know what I’m talking about? When a person spends so much time thinking about what he wants to do that he never actually does anything. Or by the time he does decide to do something the opportunity has passed?

If you are a normal human, I expect you’ve probably done the same thing yourself once or twice. You find yourself faced with a choice, decision or an opportunity, and you simply don’t know what to do. So you freeze, do nothing and the opportunity passes you by.

The next time you’re faces with a choice, decision or opportunity, don’t get stuck. Do something different. Rather than focus on the individual decision, focus your attention on what you are ultimately trying to create. Whether you are working on a project in the office, leading a team at work, or aiming for something in an area of your personal life, the process is the same. Focus your attention squarely on what you are ultimately trying to create.

Then with your attention tightly focused on your destination, take ONE inspired action that will take you closer to your goal. Don’t worry about what you’ll do after that and don’t worry if you are right or wrong. Simply take the ONE best next step. In the words of Teddy Roosevelt, “The best thing you can do in any situation is the right thing; the next best thing you can do is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.”

Whatever the result, in the moment you take inspired action, you become a different person. You become a person who is now well-equipped to take the NEXT one next best step.

To get more Mindset Mistakes and the Tools to fix them straight to your inbox, go to www.freegiftfrommartha.com

Until next time, take care.

From Frog Soup to Royal Buffet: What to Look for in a Mentor – Part 2

By Martha Wilson

Last month, we took at look at an old familiar recipe for Frog Soup . We talked about what it is, how you make it, and most importantly, how to take the Quantum Leap (making a conscious decision to recognize, magnify and put into service your unique abilities at the highest level) required to get the heck out of the soup pot. Since making a Quantum Leap requires jumping FIRST and THEN reaching for the hand that will support you, it is time to talk about how you find that hand when you need it.

How do you find the mentor that is right for you?

Here are 5 key things to look for in a mentor:

1. Choose Someone Who “Gets It”

You wouldn’t dream of hiring a golfer to teach you how to waterski, and the same is true with a mentor. You want your mentor to be someone who has been there, someone who can relate to your experiences and your specific situation.

As you’re building your career within a large, bureaucratic organization around your life, rather than the other way around, it helps to have somebody who understands the context of your situation. Someone who gets the rules, regulations, and restrictions (real or perhaps perceived) that apply in your world. Your mentor can best help you apply a new way of thinking when she understands the environment in which you are operating.

2. Choose Someone Who Will Push You

Your mentor should be somebody who is willing to push you beyond your own previous experiences and limitations. I don’t mean that she should ask you to do something crazy or unsafe, but a good mentor will gently push you as you step into a new way of thinking, a new way of being, and a new way of living.

Let’s face it, doing what you’ve always done will get you what you’ve always gotten. And doing things differently can be uncomfortable. You want a mentor who forces you to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

3. Choose Someone Who Honors Your Individuality

Find a mentor who is interested in helping you become the best version of you. . . as opposed to a clone of them.

Each of us is on a different path and each of us has different Gifts (the sum total of your talents, skills, abilities, experiences, physical attributes, quirks, and “flaws.”) Your Gifts are unique to you. They are yours to give to the world and if you don’t give them, they will never be given. Therefore, you need a mentor who is committed to helping you magnify your best Gifts.

4. Choose Someone Outside Your Normal Circle

It is said that you become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. If you find yourself in the soup pot, seeking help from someone else who is also in the soup pot is not productive.

Intentionally choose a mentor who is outside of your normal circle, and ideally outside your organization. She’ll have a different perspective and be able to see options that you can’t. She is also less likely to have an organizationally imposed “hidden agenda.” (NOTE: This point is not intended to contradict Point 1. It is intended to highlight the need for balance between context and perspective.) If you’re ready for the kind of change that will get you out of the pot, you must assume responsibility for your own leap.

5. Choose Someone You Trust

In order for a mentor to truly be effective, you must be able to trust her. You need someone who will hold your discomfort, your celebrations and your disappointments in highest respect and confidentiality. When you find someone who will let you be completely raw and honest and share your most authentic self, that’s when the magic of the Quantum Leap really starts to kick in.

On your journey from Frog Soup to Royal Buffet, you will encounter incredible success that you have not seen before. You will also experience valuable lessons that will be uncomfortable. Your mentor is there to teach you how to let success and discomfort be easy.

If you recognize that you’re done with Frog Soup…if you know it is time for you to jump out of the pot and take your place at the Royal Buffet, I want to be the first to congratulate and acknowledge you.

And, if after making your clear, committed decision, you wonder if I might be the right mentor for you, let’s talk. You can apply for a complimentary Leadership Design Consultation HERE, and we’ll see if we’re a good fit.

Paycheck = Appreciation

By Martha Wilson

Here’s your Mindset Mistake for February. If you would rather read this tip than watch the video, just scroll to the bottom of the page.

Hi, this is your Leadership Architect Martha Austin with another Mindset Mistake that will Derail your Leadership.

I was having a conversation with a client just the other day and she said to me, “My direct reports complain they don’t feel appreciated. APPRECIATED? REALLY? I mean they get paid every two weeks. Is that not appreciation enough?!”

Ahh yes. . . the Mindset Mistake. . . That says. . . Paycheck = Appreciation

Let me explain.

Do you remember your high school psychology days, and Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs? That was the Pyramid that had basic needs like food and shelter on the bottom; then Safety/security; then belonging; then self-esteem and then Self-actualization on the top. We don’t have time to explore the full model here. But there are 2 important things for you to know:

1) The need to feel appreciated, like you matter, to feel that someone knows you exist as a human. That is a human need that is hardwired into our DNA.

2) For many people, appreciation is tied to a feeling of safety and security. Does my boss know I’m here? Am I doing ok? Am I secure in my job?

In these days of tight budgets, sequesters, and furloughs, appreciation is more important than ever. . .

Now it is true that appreciation will not pay the bills. It will, however, help you and those around you be more tolerant, more resilient, and more creative when it comes to meeting the budget challenges. And appreciation is easy to do.

For the next 2 weeks. . . try this:

Deliberately NOTICE when someone in your office does something that leaves you feeling supported, encouraged, inspired or otherwise makes your world a better place.

Then, TELL THEM. Start the sentence with “What I appreciate about you is___________…” and fill in the blank.

BTW. . . this works at home too.

Try this every day for the next two weeks and then come back here to tell us what you noticed.

The Old Recipe for Frog Soup – Part 1

By Martha Wilson

This is an old story that I suspect you’ve heard before, and just in case you haven’t, here it is again. They say that if you put a frog in a boiling pot of water, he will jump out immediately. He knows that the water is too hot, and he gets out of there, fast.

But if you put the frog in a pot of cool water and turn up the heat slowly, he will stay there until he is dead. He won’t jump out in time to save himself because the temperature of the water rises so gradually that he doesn’t even notice.

Now, I don’t know if the story is true about frogs, but I do know that it is an excellent analogy to how some of us end up relating to our work lives.

When we come into our organizations, most of us truly believe in our heart of hearts that we’re a perfect fit for the job. We’re excited about the job, we believe in the organization, and we’re thrilled to be there.

Things go just great until “Shift” happens. The job changes, or maybe the people change. We go through a major life event, like getting married, divorced or having children, and our priorities shift. Maybe we realize we’ve been doing the same thing for 16 years, and we’re bored.

Whatever the cause, somewhere along the line, “Shift” happens. The problem comes when we don’t notice. All too often people find themselves living a double life: there’s the thing they do for money during the day, and the thing they love that they squeeze into nights and weekends.

Much like the frog in the pot, splitting time is okay for a while. But at some point, the water starts to get pretty darn hot and uncomfortable. Next thing you know…you’re Frog Soup.

Are you the frog in the pot? Well, you don’t have to be! Let’s take a look at some action steps you can take right away to get out of that hot water… without landing in more.

1. Notice that you’re in the pot. Are you having fun at your job? Are you making the difference you wanted to make? Do you have the relationships with your friends and family that you want? If you answered “no” to any of these questions consider that you may be in a soup pot.

It’s not uncommon for people to be unaware that they’re in the soup pot. When was the last time you asked a co-worker how they were doing and they responded with something like, “Same stuff, different day”? The shift can happen so gradually that you don’t even notice that the water is getting warmer.

2. Gather your little froggy legs up underneath your butt! Recognize that the more you do what you love, the greater the impact you have on your organization and the world at large. When you realize that the level of satisfaction and fulfillment you feel at work is a measure of the degree to which you are using your greatest gifts, you will realize that you not only DESERVE to have a job you love, you have a RESPONSIBILITY to.

So many of us have grown up with a mindset that believes we’re supposed to sell ourselves for money and as long as the work is tolerable, that’s good enough. But I’m telling you, that’s not the case. You have gifts that only you can give, and they need to be shared with the world. When you identify what you love to do and choose to do that, you are, by design, sharing your greatest gifts. You are being of greatest service.

3. Leap out of the stinkin’ pot! The fine print here is that jumping out of the pot does not necessarily mean quitting your job or moving to another state. It may mean taking a different role within your organization or adjusting something else in some other area of your life. But whatever it is, it requires you doing something very different. It requires a Quantum Leap. Otherwise you will smack the side of the pot and land right back down where you started. The Quantum Leap itself is nothing more than a clear, committed decision to refuse to settle for soup. The decision is the leap.

4. Grab the hand that appears! Did you notice that this step comes AFTER you leap? Until you decide to make the Quantum Leap, no one can help you over the edge of the pot.

The surest way to guarantee that you sail cleanly over the edge is to INVEST IN YOURSELF. Whether this investment looks like joining a gym, hiring a coach, taking a class or some other form of growth, making a successful leap easily requires grabbing the hand of someone who can help you.

This investment is the part that scares most people so much that they would rather fall back in the pot and become Frog Soup than risk investing in themselves. They say, “I can’t afford it. I don’t have time. I don’t have energy. My organization won’t pay for it.” Here’s the bad news: you pay for success UP FRONT. Until you are willing to invest in yourself, you are unlikely to escape the soup pot.

This is YOUR Quantum Leap. YOU have to do it. Someone else cannot invest in you at a level higher than you are willing to invest in yourself.

So where do you start? If you’ve decided to take your Quantum Leap, how do you look for the correct hand to grab? How do you find a mentor that is right for you? Next month we will explore those questions in depth.

AND, if you realize that by this time next month, you will already be FROG SOUP, there is no need to wait. Schedule your FREE Leadership Design Consultation to discover the best “hand” for you to grab.

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